Married To The Job

The Age

Saturday June 21, 2008

David Wilson

Picture the middle-aged, middle-class professional work obsessive. A hefty section of their weekends and weeknights is taken up by work; they don't have time to read a book or go to the movies; they have a limited and declining number of friends; and most things they do outside work they regard as futile.

Socialising with them is a disaster. They either continually talk about work or don't join in social conversation much because they are thinking about work. Even worse, they don't know what to talk about because they have excluded the outside world for work.

Their home lives are pretty jagged. Their spouses are mostly resentful and sex is infrequent and surly. Tension rules the relationship. Common interests and simple pleasures have long gone out the window.

Their mostly grown-up children have all but forgotten them - unless they are hanging out for a handout to buy/rent, or moodily bludging at home for financial reasons.

You can pick the middle-aged work-obsessive in offices. They are the early beginners, the late stayers, the extra dayers and the take-homers - even when there is no need for it. They are the ones who look forward to weekend conferences, seminars and retreats. At these soulless functions, the obsessive can continue to talk about work with other people who are, or more likely have to be, interested in what's being said.

Think I'm kidding? Consider then the advice of Deakin University's Don Jefferys, a psychologist specialising in obsessive behaviour. He says work-obsessives or workaholics are still mostly male, but have equally damaged personalities when they are among the increasing numbers of females.

Professor Jefferys says there is a "plague" of such people fighting off depression, panic attacks, feelings of irrelevance and an inability to grasp other aspects of life but work. Such people define themselves solely by work, and when they stop working they tend to become ill very quickly. Many die earlier than other people of the same age.

Professor Jefferys quotes Robert Louis Stevenson: "Perpetual devotion to what a man calls his business is only to be sustained by perpetual neglect of many other things."

© 2008 The Age

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